Life, death, and all the dieting in between

Weight loss on the prairie

Here I am, on this beautiful Labor Day in Kansas…sitting inside…on my bed…on my computer…writing a blog.  I *should* be outside doing yardwork, taking the kids to the Sunset Zoo, walking the Konza Prairie trails, strolling around downtown Manhattan and Aggieville, exploring up and down Wildcat Creek, or even dragging my bike out to the driveway so I can pretend I know what to do to fix it and get it on working order again (my neighbors would not be fooled, they know I have no idea what I’m doing).  No, instead, I need to use today to get off my ass and do what I have wanted to do for so long — start a blog.  More specifically, to chronicle my completely unsuccessful efforts at weight loss.  Lately, some things have clicked and I have FINALLY begun shedding some pounds, but I have a long, daunting journey ahead of me.  I will have many setbacks and weak moments, I will cry, I will throw tantrums like a toddler, I will feel defeated, and I will feel like there are people in my life who do not want me to succeed.  Hell, since I’m going to be an open book to you all, sometimes I don’t want me to succeed.

I also need to use this blog to discuss everyday things that happen in life that directly affect weight loss efforts: illness, bad weather, relationships, pregnancy, death, moving, birthday cakes, Thanksgiving dinner, etc.  Its easy for people outside of my bubble to point a finger and say, “Well, I can clearly see that this is your problem, so you need to do this to fix it.  Problem solved!”  Ahh, if only it were that easy, I wouldn’t be sitting here at age 38, almost 75 pounds overweight and hating most — not all, but most — of what I see in the mirror every day.

Today’s small entry is merely a jumping off point to start the blogging process.  We are going to discuss everything on this page, though, as it ALL pertains to my adulthood struggle with weight.  In doing so, I predict that I will be able to become one of those people on the outside, looking back into my own bubble, and being able to identify blatant mistakes I am making that seem so obvious to everyone but me.

Buckle up, people, this is going to be one bumpy, dusty, gravely, rough, Kansas backroad — but the stops along the way are going to be life changing.


P.S. I am a musician at heart (I even have this really expensive, fancy piece of paper from Emporia State University saying I did a few things with music in my life).  Each day, I want to end the blogs with music that captures the day, or represents my emotions or moods on whichever subject I covered.  For today’s music selection, I offer this song, as I am currently overflowing with motivation and excitement for new things and success.  And, being a lifelong Kansas girl, at the moment I can smell prairie fires burning throughout the Flint Hills and the fields are filled with golden, late-summer sunflowers, I leave you with Bea Miller’s “Fire and Gold”



Author: lifedeathdieting

My story is the same as most women, all was fine with my health, weight and body -- until I had kids. My metabolism is nearly non-existent, it seems I have to put in 10X more effort as anyone else to loose even 1 pound (yet, I can gain weight almost instantly if I allow myself even a single cheat day), I'm embarrassed to say how many different diets I've tried and bombed, and most days the motivation simply isn't there. I have even met much resistance with people in my life, dieting and loosing weight is such a common topic, I think it is often minimized just because so many people talk about it everyday. Friends and family always brush it off like its something I can do if I just stop whining about it and just do it -- but I can't, I've learned over the last 17 years that it is far more complicated than "just doing it." Exercising is difficult with all the loose skin and fat that sags on my abdomen...but I need to exercise to get all that fat off...but many exercises I can't do because the fat and skin are in the's a loose-loose at the moment. But there is a new dawn on the weight loss horizon, I have finally begin to drop some weight, and I am slowly figuring out where my buggaboos are hiding within my mind and my diet. I am sharing this journey to chronicle the successes and failures on my return to health.

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