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“Sleep is the best meditation.” Dalai Lama

Since my last post, I swear it feels like I have barely slept, and in truth, I barely have. My bed is becoming more and more uncomfortable with each day (we have a fancy pillow top mattress and it has created ruts on both sides of our bed where lay), there is too much extreme snoring in my house, there are so many things I can’t catch up on (my kids’ school work, school activities, daycare, trying — and failing — to diet and exercise) my mind is racing all night, I feel like I’m constantly running towards a finish line that keeps moving back each time I get close. The lack-of-sleep issue is really catching up to me the last 5-6 days, I am so incredibly tired and cranky, I cannot concentrate, and I’m more scatterbrained than normal (which is saying a lot considering the extent of my mom-brain).

So, how do I address this sleep issue? I need to be in bed by 9:00pm every night if I’m waking up at 5:00am, this gives me 8 hours of sleep (assuming I fall asleep straight away). Let’s work this situation backwards. I need to begin getting ready for bed around 8:30pm — sleepytime tea, pajamas (which for me is just an enormous tee shirt leftover from a work promotion from 10 years ago 😄), contacts out, face washed/moisturized, teeth brushed/flossed, feet and legs oiled up with my two favorites (magnesium oil spray and Idaho Balsam fir essential oil). Alrighty, soooooooooo…I have to make dinner from 5:30-6:30 (assuming there are no school concerts, programs, parent-teacher conferences, they usually begin at 6:00), we’ll eat at 6:30, try to be done and cleaned up by 7:30, this leaves me 1 WHOLE HOUR to help my own 4 children with schoolwork, baths/showers/pajamas, brushing/flossing kids’ teeth, cleaning up all daycare messes/dishes from the day….it’s okay. It’s totally do-able. I’ll just never shower again, never watch tv/movies again, never leave the damn house ever again, never do anything ever again that brings me any enjoyment or fulfillment outside of my mom-life, no social life (unfortunately, I don’t have much of one anyways), never relax…and then I’ll wake up at 5:00 the next day and do it all over again. It’s totally fine. 😩😩😩

Now, I’m sure many people assume that because I work in my home that surely my house is impeccably clean and organized, I mean, after all, I am home ALL day…what I could possibly do from 5:00am to 5:30pm that would interfere with me taking care of my own house and wash a few dishes here and there? You poor, poor fools…you who think there is time for these things must not have kids. And those with kids who think this, you clearly have no concept of what it takes to run a daycare (even a small, in-home daycare like mine). I could cite highly specific examples for daaaaayyyysssss — but I won’t. All I need to say to say is I could have a sterile, museum-like home, white gloves, shoes off, don’t touch anything…but that would mean I would be completely ignoring my own kids and the six I care for everyday. Instead, I see it this way. We all have ONE SHOT to raise these kids right, to protect them, teach them right from wrong, and give them the attention they need to develop properly — this can’t happen if I’m shoving everyone aside to constantly mop or vacuum or scrub dishes.

This is where my own family fails, though. We have 6 fully capable people living in our home, and 5 of those people expect 1 person to assume full responsibility for all those household duties.

Not happening.

Not even possible for that to happen.

So, this is what I’m going to do…

I’m giving myself the rest do this horrid, sleep-deprived week to bust my butt and get every last task in this house caught up. I judge a gymnastics meet all day Saturday, March 3. Sunday, I will try my hardest to clear the DVR of all my shows that have piled up.

Then, beginning Sunday, March 4, NO MATTER WHAT, I will drop what I’m doing at 8:30pm to get ready for bed. At 9:00pm, I will be in bed — lights out, all electronics in my room (turned off and plugged in to charge overnight), eyes closed. And if my own family thinks I’m being selfish for trying to frickin’ sleep, then they can each take turns being me for a week and see just how wonderfully energized and refreshed they feel when that alarm goes off at 5:00am every morning. I do have a plan for how to still squeeze in a workout each day, but I’ll discuss that another day.

Well, this post has taken me 5 hours to piece together. No children were ignored, no houses were cleaned, and no dishes were washed during this process. Just typing about one paragraph an hour…wish me luck the rest of the day, I only slept 2-3 hours last night!

~~ Amie

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