I have encountered my first huge weight loss problem: the skin. That ugly, loose, sagging, embarrassing skin on my lower abdomen. I ran out to pick up some cheap clothes for my trip (I leave on Friday!), and was devastated to find that all my hard work has not paid off yet when it comes to clothing sizes. I have solid proof that I am indeed smaller than I was since I started back at the beginning of March. I have taken measurements — the inches are steadily decreasing. I weigh myself each morning, the pounds are still slowly chipping away. But there are two huge problems preventing me from being able to buy clothes in a new, smaller size.
First, these @&$!ing boobs! My band size has decreased, this I can definitely feel in all my current bras, I have moved down to the last, tightest set of hooks. However, I have lost NO mass in my cup size. 😡 So, all my shirts still fit just as tight across my chest as they did before. Ugh, as if being short isn’t problematic enough in dressing myself, being short with big boobs is awful.
Second, the skin. All that loose, wrinkly, saggy skin on my abdomen was stretched out and deflated 4 times over from having my kids. Yes, it is my own fault that I gained more weight on top of what was leftover from all 4 of my pregnancy weights. But now that weight is coming off, there is less fat behind that gross skin to support it and hold it up. Now, it is sagging even lower and clothes are not designed for the natural “pooch” of our abdomens to be down below hip level…I’m saying that when naked, this skin touches the very tops of my thighs. Absolutely, completely, thoroughly embarrassing. I caught someone standing in line in front of me at Walmart staring at my abdomen, when I caught them I readjusted my shirt to try and cover it more as quickly as I could. The stranger just raised their eyebrows at me and smirked as they turned around. According to my waist and hip measurements, I should be down 2 pants sizes — but I am wearing the exact same size. That skin sits so unnaturally, and down so low, that my pants are tighter. Nice, real nice.
I am not going to let this deter me, though. I know that this skin will have to be removed eventually. The thought of having to have surgery just so I can wear pants correctly is a hard pill to swallow. But I’ll never know the true extent of damage until this journey is done. Let’s be honest, this journey will never be 100% complete, I will always be a work in progress.
Last night, I increased my reps on all my strength exercises a little more, and I still am not sore this morning! I decided to maintain my current treadmill setting since I’m leaving for vacation Friday and I don’t know how much (or if) I’ll get any running in while I’m there. So, I’ll hold where I’m at and wait until I’m home at the end of next week to up my running.
*Sigh* So, not the triumphant weight loss milestone I was hoping for. I wanted to be done automatically going straight for the largest size on the rack…no such luck this time. I will keep on keeping on…at least the weather today is fabulous, my allergies are tolerable, and I only have 3 work days this week. Time for a shake! And check out that blue Kansas sky in the background…filters neither required nor desired!
There is only one song to sum up what I have in store for me, “Working Day and Night” by Michael Jackson.